Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Mental crisis
I'm going to write about the way I'm feeling at this very moment, somewhat like a letter of complaint. Some people may feel offended by this, but there really is no reason to, but I apologise in advance to anyone whose feelings I may be hurting. I just have to get this off my chest and get over it.
The thing is that I've been thinking a lot lately about sending Russia and everything in it to hell and moving back to Belgium.
I don't really have a reason for feeling this way, but having grown up in Belgium where life is relatively easy and there isn't much to worry about, I just think that - unlike Russians - I'm not up to having to struggle for every little thing (yet). It's the little things that bother me, really.
For example, I'm just SO tired of my car constantly breaking down/not starting in the morning and spending a third of my free time getting it to work properly and repairing it (Thank God it's relatively cheap). I haven't even been using it lately, because it costs 30 rubles to jump start it every time, which is more expensive than public transport.
Another thing that bothers me is having to dial in to the internet 20 times, because the line is constantly busy. Cable internet is available, but unfortunately I can't afford it on my current salary.
Also, I resent the fact that we don't get any mail. Many people have sent me cards, packages and letters and I haven't received any of them so far. I don't feel sorry for myself in this case; I feel sorry for the people who have looked for and bought these cards/presents and have spent money to get them here. Come to think of it, I think I've read somewhere that you can judge the level of civilisation of a country by its postal services...
Recently, we found out our datcha had been broken into. All that was stolen was a few aluminium cooking pots and some cutlery. To this end, the burglars broke one of the window shutters, ruined our door (which they failed to open), broke a window and the bars on it. And all this for just 3 lazy aluminium cooking pots and some cutlery! Apparently, they hand them in somewhere and receive a few roubles in return, which they use to buy wodka or drugs. It wasn't even a big surprise, really: we knew this could happen, because it happens all the time. I don't care about the stupid cooking pots or the cutlery: it's just that now our datcha is open to everyone who wants to come in and take their share.
I think what bothers me most is that many Russians are selfish and respect nothing and no-one. This becomes apparent in traffic, where nobody follows the rules, in the bureaucracy, where hardly anybody does their job or takes the time to explain things to you (unless you know influential people, that is), etc.
Anyway, all this is probably just a phase I'm going through - one that possibly everyone living in a foreign country has to go through. On the whole, life here is not half bad and I can't really complain. The shops carry everything we need (except choco and brown sugar), I have a fairly well-paid job, a beautiful and loving wife, a car and what have you. So, I guess I'll just have to stop whining, suck up and deal with it!
The thing is that I've been thinking a lot lately about sending Russia and everything in it to hell and moving back to Belgium.
I don't really have a reason for feeling this way, but having grown up in Belgium where life is relatively easy and there isn't much to worry about, I just think that - unlike Russians - I'm not up to having to struggle for every little thing (yet). It's the little things that bother me, really.
For example, I'm just SO tired of my car constantly breaking down/not starting in the morning and spending a third of my free time getting it to work properly and repairing it (Thank God it's relatively cheap). I haven't even been using it lately, because it costs 30 rubles to jump start it every time, which is more expensive than public transport.
Another thing that bothers me is having to dial in to the internet 20 times, because the line is constantly busy. Cable internet is available, but unfortunately I can't afford it on my current salary.
Also, I resent the fact that we don't get any mail. Many people have sent me cards, packages and letters and I haven't received any of them so far. I don't feel sorry for myself in this case; I feel sorry for the people who have looked for and bought these cards/presents and have spent money to get them here. Come to think of it, I think I've read somewhere that you can judge the level of civilisation of a country by its postal services...
Recently, we found out our datcha had been broken into. All that was stolen was a few aluminium cooking pots and some cutlery. To this end, the burglars broke one of the window shutters, ruined our door (which they failed to open), broke a window and the bars on it. And all this for just 3 lazy aluminium cooking pots and some cutlery! Apparently, they hand them in somewhere and receive a few roubles in return, which they use to buy wodka or drugs. It wasn't even a big surprise, really: we knew this could happen, because it happens all the time. I don't care about the stupid cooking pots or the cutlery: it's just that now our datcha is open to everyone who wants to come in and take their share.
I think what bothers me most is that many Russians are selfish and respect nothing and no-one. This becomes apparent in traffic, where nobody follows the rules, in the bureaucracy, where hardly anybody does their job or takes the time to explain things to you (unless you know influential people, that is), etc.
Anyway, all this is probably just a phase I'm going through - one that possibly everyone living in a foreign country has to go through. On the whole, life here is not half bad and I can't really complain. The shops carry everything we need (except choco and brown sugar), I have a fairly well-paid job, a beautiful and loving wife, a car and what have you. So, I guess I'll just have to stop whining, suck up and deal with it!
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